As a woman in her 40s with offspring in their teens I spent a great deal of time questioning myself and wondering what I was doing right and wrong in my life. Was I on the career path I wanted to be on? Was I happy in my marriage? Was I happy with my living situation? Was I happy with my fitness and health? Was I happy with my relationships? If I answered any question with a “no” did I know how to make the necessary changes? If I answered “yes” did I know how to maintain the situations?

There always seems to be some chatter about women who are behind men in their career trajectory. I suggest maybe it is not that women are behind men, but that a certain personality of men and women seem to be ahead of other men and women. Forgetting for a moment the concept of ahead and behind in a career trajectory, some people seem to be drive straight and fast through a career path and end up in senior positions at a relatively young age. Other people sit at the intersection of many paths and drive up and back, trying new paths before settling on one that takes them into their career. And, other people start up a path, then pull over for a while, living a life that is outside of the career path, before they continue forward. I also expect there are people who, once they are on a career path, simply drive forward slowly, thinking and questioning all the way along.

Thinking and questioning probably look a lot like indecision and lack of confidence. For myself, the thinking and questioning has solidified in my mind what it is important to me, both in my career and in my personal life. I have solid answers because I devoted time to myself and my thoughts, necessarily taking time away from the drive forward on my career path. Am I behind or am I in a different place?